The Big A

What???

2008-07-20T19:54:00.001-07:00

Are you kidding me??!!

This sign was seen in line for the Spider ride at Lagoon. We couldn't imagine how dumb someone had to be to have caused a need for this sign...but behold, Dave's (my brother) business partner told me he knows a kid who somehow...impaled his thigh on this fence. I shake my head in disbelief. oh goodness...

Another Bad Word

2008-06-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Here is a new word to add to my "bad words" list:

Suck - this one is a particularly bad one. It is a harsh sounding word and I just don't like it. I don't use it very much, but from now on, no more.

Update on Bad Words

2008-05-24T23:06:00.000-07:00

Here is an update on my progress with Bad words:

Well, I have done a pretty good job of removing the words I chose from my language. My rubber band broke and I have been without it now for almost 2 weeks. I have done ok, but have slipped up a few times. I am surprised, though, because it hasn't been as bad as I thought. The hardest times are when I am upset/angry/frustrated, etc. Those times are when I tend to slip up the most.

I did find something very cool in the midst of this - Because I am committed to my language being corrected, I find it impacting my general behavior. For instance, one day while driving, I was upset about something, and said one of the words I committed not to saying. The second I said it, I caught myself and all of a sudden, I also found myself being able to catch my general mood and calm myself down. It helped me basically, "awake" from my anger and I was able to tell myself to calm down and see things a little different. It was pretty cool. After reflecting about this, I have made a realization - When we try to control things from the "top down", we often fail because it is too overwhelming (too many things fall apart like dominoes and can't easily be controlled). However, if we work backwards, we can often put the pieces back easier. In other words...

If I want to improve my patience, that is a big word and can impact so many things. It is too hard to recognize and control at a high level. However, if I pick out the symptoms I display for my impatience, I can make the goal to control my REACTION to my impatience. That, in turn, will awaken my mind to recognize I am being impatient and help me self-correct. This is a cool idea.

SO, I will have to now think of one area of my life that I want to improve, such as patience, then write down the symptoms I display when I am impatient. Next, I will treat those symptoms the same way (in general) that I do my language and see how that improves my ability to quickly self-correct and slowly improve my ability to be patient.

Hmmm, I really think there is something to this and there must be some interesting principle behind this that I can examine further. Ok, I will in the next few blogs as I add words and I think I will address my patience first. See you next blog post.

Progress and a few more words.

2008-05-01T22:12:00.001-07:00

So, my quest to eliminate ugly/bad words is working. I am getting better and I have pretty much eliminated most of them from my language. One thing that worked for me was to not just have other people catch me, but I decided to put the rubber band to work. I put a thick one on my wrist and every time I catch myself, I snap it hard (really hard so it means something). I am usually much better at catching myself anyway. Also, I have noticed (as I thought I would be) that I am more sensitive to words that are said by others.

A co-worker, Andy, told me that he knew a guy who's rule with his kids was that if he could say a word, his kids could say it, no questions asked. Interesting thought. I mean, that expands the possible ugly/bad words to quite a few more. I think that is a good rule. Amy is already helping us clean up our language in the home by making sure we use softer and nicer words for things. I sure appreciate that in her.

So, it is time to add two more words. Here they are:

1) Freaking, Freakin', Freak, or any derivative of those words - I know this one may seem kind of lame, but honestly, those are pretty immature and unrefined words. So, out they go. Time to leave my teenage language behind.

2) Shut Up - I have actually been pretty good with this one for a while, but I want to totally eliminate it. It is a harsh way of talking and i don't want my kids saying this.

That's it for now...more to come as I improve.

Rules to Live and Lead by

2008-04-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

So over the years, I have come up with a few rules by which I try to live my life. Here they are:

1) Do your homework
2) Follow up, follow up, follow up
3) Let the big picture guide the details
4) Have fun, cheer loud!
5) "Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do" - John Wooden
6) Always be willing and excited to try
7) Bridle your passions so that you can love people more than anything else
8) The methods we choose to solve a problem is as important as solving the problem itself.
9) Always have a reason to smile and occasion to laugh.
10) Get help, give all, and get a good therapist!
11) Communication is usually more important than action
12) What is perceived as truth is often more important than what is true.
13) Memory is not the sure proof of sincerity
14) Vision looks best when it's shared.
15) To get the best thing, you have to be willing to give up Your thing.
16) Humility is the purest sign of honesty.

So that's it for now. I'm sure I will add to these. Maybe I'll take some time to explain some of these...later.

A follow up to bad words...

2008-04-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my attempt at removing bad words from my language is slowly making progress. I have made a few mistakes (all but one with the word, "crap"). However, no one has charged me money - I guess because I usually am the only one paying attention to it and only a few people know so far. I have decided to tell my family about it so that they can help keep me true.

One of my co-workers, John Lawton, said that during his LDS mission, his companion and he went 6 whole weeks working and and removed the word, "like", from their speech. wow, that would be a hard one. He said they used rubber bands on their wrists and had to snap themselves each time they said it. That might be more effective than the money deal... Not sure.

So, if you read this, please hold me accountable.

A Eulogy to Bad Words

2008-04-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a year...almost. SO WHAT. It's my blog. Ok, that said...

Since my last two entries were about words, it is appropriate that my post tonight is on, you guessed: WORDS.

I have been thinking a lot about words - particularly words I use. When I think about all the great people I know, especially the ones I view as great spiritual examples, I have made the observation that all of them have a few characteristics in common:

1) I never catch them saying negative things about others

and

2) They don't use bad language.

Now, since I might still insult people on occasion (and on purpose at times), I thought I would try to resolve the second issue. At the age of 33, I will now begin my journey towards clean and wholesome language. So, tonight I begin. I am going to create a list of words that I will forever say goodbye to (not going to use them again). Here it is:

A EULOGY TO BAD WORDS:

I would like to say good-bye to the following words, for the following reasons:

1) Retarded - I know too many wonderfully innocent and good mentally handicapped people to use this word anymore. Typically people use this as an insult, as to call someone stupid or to mean that something is dumb. Retarded is not dumb, it is a real and saddening reality and handicap for many people. I forever pledge to say good bye to using this word in a negative connotation.

2) Damn - well, it's a curse word and I use it sometimes, even just for fun. I can't see my most respected examples using that word.

3) Hell - same as Damn. I need to use this as it was originally intended only, as the name of where bad folks go when they die.

4) Crap - this is a hard one. I mean, what will I substitute this with? But, I must. it is a childish word that is a cheap substitute for another poo-related curse word. Ugh, this one will be hard.

5) Pissed - wow, I actually hate this word, but occasionally have used it. No more. It's crude and inappropriate.

Ok, that's good for now. It's a tall order. Here's the deal: If you hear me use one of those words, I owe you a quarter. Each time I say it, I owe you an additional quarter - in other words, the second time I owe you .50 cents and then .75 and so on, so that if I say it 3 times and you catch me all three times, I will owe you $1.50. Got it? ok, good. Good luck to me and happy hearing for you.

Big words, little words

2005-08-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, I have realized that the qay I play games is alot like the way I am with other things.

For example, remember how I said I liked the 7 letter words and the 2-3 letter words, but disliked the 4-6 ones? Well, there is something to this. In real life, I love the big picture and am always working towards completing it (the 7 letter words). But in reality, the big picture is hard to get. In fact, in scrabble, getting to the 7 letter bingo word is as much skill as it is luck. I am constantly working my hand, getting rid of hard or redundant letters for more flexible letters.

For instance, If my hand contains AGIRVCM, I will try to play the V, C, and possibly the M in small words, using my opponent's vowels. That way, when I play the V,C, and M, I can draw new tiles to add to the AGIR left in my hand. The chances are, since there is a small and finite amount of C's, V's, and M's, that I will not get those again. I might get the letters N, K, and B. See what I mean? IGIRVCM spells nothing (7 letters long). AGIRNKB spells BARKING or BRAKING. That's a lot of points. The real skill was knowing which battles to fight. Getting rid of the V and C especially made my battle for the 7 letter word much easier. My chances were much better without them (most of the time).

The lesson here is this...

If I can remember to take care of the small things and manage the hard things first, I will be benefited in the long run with the big picture. However, sometimes I get so caught up with the grand ideas that I try and have the large idea first, without building to it. Doing this often leaves me with wasted time and energy.

However, in the same way, I like the jockeying of the small things in life. I will play position for so long that I sometimes lose sight of the large word. I am so concerned with the bonus spots that I miss the bingo. A bingo is far better than a bonus square. In life I often am so concerned with the small things that I miss the big opportunity. I focus on the 'bonus', or the opportunity shown me that I fail to see the ones I can make on my own by using the hand I have.

It's a good lesson to learn. I guess I really need to learn to manage the hard, small things everyday in the right positions, leaving myself as many opportunities as possible. This is the key. Use what is best at any given time, without sacrificing future possibilities. You can't try to score 30 when patience and maybe even passing will allow you to score 80 the next turn.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

Words and me...

2005-08-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

So, I am still writting on the bathroom stuff. I have a draft in the works, but it will take a while to finish - I needed a small break from it.

Words. I love them. I don't have the greatest vocabulary in the world, but I still like words. I am a pretty good speller (doesn't mean I'm a good typist, keep that in mind here) and I am pretty good with grammar. Lately though (past year or so), I have really been getting into word games. I love them!

I like Text Twist - You can play it on gamesloth.com or Yahoo games. My highest score so far has been a little over 102,000. That's really quite high. I also LOVE Literati and Scrabble. Both of those games are very similar, well ok, almost identical. I am pretty good at it. I have only lost at Literati eight times and only half a dozen times in Scrabble. I love playing to the point that I memorized all the two letter and many three letter words.

Because my vocabulary isn't the largest, I have to use the board as my tool of victory. In other words, I have a hard time getting the large word sometimes, so I tend to play position the whole time using two and three letter words. I work to keep my opponent in a bad position and force them to open all the bonus positions for me. It is my style. Lately, however, I have been working on anagramming games such as Text Twist and others in order to learn how to mix different combinations of letters together to get the big word. So now my strategy is changing. I am working towards the 7 letter word (a bingo worth lots of points) and then once played, I work up and down it to close it off again. By the time it's closed, they are still a bunch of points behind and they are scrambling to protect their position rather than trying to land the big word, which is the way to beat me.

My weakest place now is the 4-6 letter word area and it is what usually beats me. Anyway, I love the thinking in the game. I love the spatial aspect of the game and working the board for position. I am really quite good at managing space, so it works to my advantage. My goal now, is to work on memorizing a lot of 3 letter words, concentrating on words that help me use difficult letters such as q, z, c, v.

I must say that I hate the 'V' as much as any letter. Did yo know there are no 2 letter words containing C or V? Well, there aren't. And there are only 34, 3 letter words with the letter 'V' in them?? There are 972, 3 letter words. That makes for 3.4% of the all the 3 letter words. Considering 1 letter of 26 is 3.8%, that means that V is a very hard letter to play. I dislike it. Of course Z, Q, and X are worse, but not by too much.

My wife thinks I am getting obsessive about all this. Especially when she'll say a word and I'll spell it out loud and then commence to mix the letters of the word around to spell new words. I do it more often in my head. Maybe she's right. So why am I writting about this? Well, if you haven't already left this site in dire boredom with this topic (in which case you are reading this... - this is a verbal circle), I will explain...

You see, this past year I have taken close account of my obsessions or passions or whatever you want to call them. I have realized a couple of things about myself through this process. Here are my realizations:

1. I like spatial concepts and spatial oriented things
2. I like knowing things
3. I like telling people what I know - you might call this teaching
4. I like creating - this includes creating words with a selection of letters
5. I am motivated by mentorship, respect, and influence
6. I enjoy relationships more than results
7. I love discovery - the newness of things: new ideas, places, people, things, etc.

Anyway, I think these are interesting. First I took the list of things I have became excited about, obsessive with, etc. over the past year. Then I evaluated things about them I liked and why I liked them. I compared all the items and found similar concepts popping up throughout. Those concepts formed the basis of the list above. So, if I can see this common thread, I should be able to evaluate something before I do it and make some predictions as to my experience with it in the end.

The above list is really a list of values that I seek to fulfill. If real life items are not satisfying these things, I search for other places, such as online games, to fulfill them. It makes me wonder about different theories that have been made over the years about basic human desires/needs. Is there a list of values, of basic needs, that all humans seek to fulfill? Choice Theory says yes. Check out my other blog (clarksystems.blogspot.com) to learn more about that theory...eventually.

Well, more thoughts to come on this.

Further Bathroom Talk

2005-07-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ok...we need to talk some more about bathrooms. I know I said we'd go on to other rooms, - and we will eventually - but some more must be said about bathrooms.

Let's begin with toilet paper. You know, the soft white stuff on the roll next to you when you sit down on the toilet...at least you had better hope so! This brings us to a discussion of the empty roll.

You people who use the last of a roll and don't replace it- you are soooo guilty of evils becoming of the devil himself. I know most of you have sat down and gotten halfway or all the way through a nice experience (hopefully nice) and all of a sudden, you feel a wave of panic smother you. There is no paper on the dispensar. This is a tragedy, a disaster, a crime. What are you to do?

Is there paper even in the room? Is it easy to get to? Can you reach it still sitting down? Or will you be forced to do the full-moon shuffle?!! I like to call it the Jailhouse shuffle cause you have your pants around your ankles like shackles on a prisoner. It's funny how it works. No matter how secure the door and how windowless the room is, if you have to get up unwiped to find TP, you feel so very insecure, as if it is inevitable someone will see you or that everyone will know.

The sad part is that they sometimes do. They hear you go in, they hear the seat set down or the lid lifted and set against the porcelain potty, then they hear an awkward shuffling sound, then a lot of panicked drawer opening and closing, then some more shuffling, and finally some flushing. Now, any human knows the normal order of operations. Flushing should come before the drawers and shuffling.

Wait, no one is listening you say? Sure - tell that to the person with the pants around his ankles. AND, you can't tell me you haven't listened at least a little - at least once. What if that once was a paperless experience? You know it happens.

Anyway, what I don't understand is how someone can be so thoughtless to not replace the roll with a new one. If it isn't your house, TELL the owner of the problem so they can replace it. You can't use their bathroom (stinking and germing it up) and then leave them in such a predicament. If it is your house, it is even dumber. Chances are (greater chances for girls since they sit and wipe more) that the next person in there will be...YOU. Now that would be justice. Unfortunately it is usually someone else, like your spouse.

Even worse than that is having the next person be your child. What, you think they will actually try and find paper? HA HA HA. Most likely, they will simply skip that whole step. When they sit on your lap next or sit on your shoulders, think about that one...mmmmm. Yeah, not a pleasant thought.

Not only that, but if the child does get up, they are derfinitley not well practiced with the jailhouse shuffle. They will inevitably become somewhat of a bathroom artist as they drag their hiney around the room and across the seat...unwiped. Man, this whole discussion makes me sick just thinking about it. As it should you.

If you are a home owner - think about the paper thing. Put at least one spare roll as near the toilet you can - such as in the nearest drawer that can be reached without getting up, etc.

If you are a paper user, replace what you finish. Don't leave the dispensar empty. And certainly don't try to tell me you didn't notice or remember. That is such a lie. Laziness has the worst memory, doesn't it?!

Ok, I think I have said enough about this problem. I think you all understand what must be done. NOW...shuffle on down to your bathroom and check the roll. NO? well, shuffle now, or shuffle later. You decide.

You can't expect me to notice when I first sit down, even if I usually do. The thing is, sometimes it will be impossible to check. There are emergencies. And emergencies are the times when it is ESPECIALLY bad to not have paper cause the stuff on your hiney can be well, not so stuck. Getting up to find paper can be a disaster.

Been too long already....

2005-07-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

Did I get bored already? no.

So why haven't I written in here lately?

well, simply put, I have writer's fear. A dumb thing to have.

You see...sometimes I won't write unless I am feeling 'inspired' by some idea, or impassioned by some cause. Well, sometimes you just have to write. I have decided not to worry about what I will say in here. Later I will worry about that. For now, I will use this place to practice.

Ok...here goes.....

This week I have been trying to sort out what to do for my life. There are all sorts of things I like to do and many things I am good at, qualify for, and could do successfully. But, only a few of them would really satisfy me - aka - fulfill me.

I have taken the past month to think, debate with myself, discuss with family and friends, and talk with my wife about this dilema. You see, I really believe that it is very important what I do for a living. I have to love it. It has to be something I am passionate about. It has to be fun, creative, and be for a 'cause.' What I mean is, I really want to be part of something with real meaning for other people, not just money making. I want to make a difference in the lives of others. I want to make them better, happier, smarter, etc. Adding to the national economy does not excite me, although I would like to earn money. Adding to the personal economy of others does exite me. I want to increase their human capital.

I have found out many interesting things about myself during this process. One of the most interesting is that the happier I am with what I am doing, the less money I have typically spent, and the less money or things I needed to be happy. Also, the more money I made and the more I spent, the less it meant to me, the more empty I became. This is because I have made the most money doing things I don't like much. SO, if I were to find a job based on the money it could earn me, it could get me things, but will not bring me happiness. Only the enjoyment/satisfaction I get from my job can make me happy. This in turn, makes me more satisfied financially.

Of course, I don't want to starve. I do need to support my family. However, I also found that the more I enjoyed what I did, the more successful I was at it. This didn't mean much financially in college (as student government, etc. didn't pay anything), but it will mean something in the real world. The happier I am, the better I get, the more opportunities will present themselves to me where I can earn more money and be more satisfied through the natural rewards of success and the recognition that come with it (internal or external recognition).

This realization has led me down paths different than I originally planned (if I ever had an original plan - it has changed about every week). I am ok with new paths, new ideas, and the unseen because I am finally at peace with not being afraid to be happy.

AND that is the coolest idea. I think our fears of unhappiness keep us furthest from happiness. My fear of failure has kept me from success. Funny cause if you read my other blog (not yet) you willl eventually see my theory on 'back-slope profits.' This basically says that all growth in profits (success) for business and organizations really occurs on the back slope of growth curves, not the front/up slopes. Go to my other blog (clarksystems.blogspot.com) to read more. Anyway, I am going to enjoy the back slope more, quit letting my failures get the best of my profits, and be happy knowing that this is how it is supposed to work. I can use this concept to my advantage, or I can keep failing. What I guess I am really saying is that learning how to handle failure is more important than knowing how to succeed, and has more to do with success than anything else.

Think about that. hmmmm.

Equality...the end of the sexes?

2005-06-21T03:32:00.000-07:00

Equality is truley the end of the sexes. Equal means the same. I can't speak for you, but personally I don't want to be the same as a Woman. Why would anyone want to be the same as the opposite sex? I guess if you had those kind of tendencies....anyway...seriously. The whole equality argument is old and crusty. Large and scary arguments (even relationship enders) can be resolved with eliminating the hypocirsy of equality arguments which are totally unfounded on any logical foundation of equality. A few simple things based upon a more perfect equality can help provide a more perfect union between the sexes, rather than being the end of it. We'll go room to room in this discussion. Tonight, I start with the bathroom.

Equality in the Bathroom
The problem: The toilet seat lift.

The Argument: Women make the argument that men should put down the seat. What?!!? No way. If they want the seat down, they should lift it. I mean, look at the number of lifts/set downs. If a man has to lift it to go and then set it back down, that is 2 movements. The women has none, since the seat is already set down for her by the man and she certainly doesn't lift it back up. That is definitely not equal.

The solution: This is an easy one. Both men and women should never leave any part of the seat up on a toilet. The seat and lid should be lifted up by each party to their satisfaction and then both the seat and lid should be set back down. This way, each party recieves an equal starting ground and each can lift and set down only once (both the seat and lid can be lifted and set down in one movement).

The Problem: Cleaning the tub

The Argument: Having a man clean the tub is usually not equal (there are some scary exceptions). Women spend more time in the shower and typically use more product, thus spreading more suds around the tub. Also, men usually do not use the bath and this is the worst part. The dirty ring around the tub is only created by baths. If a man does not use the bath, they should not have to clean that ring. Women, in general have more hair and plug up the drain more. If a man is expected to pick up and discard that dead wookie in the drain, it is obvisouly unjust.

The Solution: This isn't as clear a soultion, but...it can work. First of all, have a bottle of tub spray that sits in the tub or near to it. After the last person showers, they spray down the tub. This helps reduce a lot of cleaning problems. If someone uses the bath, they clean the ring. If more than one uses it, then trade off cleaning it. For the drain, clean it after each shower. That way, if there is hair in it, the person who left it, deals with it. Regular cleaning should be done on a trading off basis. Never make this a one person all the time job.

The Problem: Toilet paper over or under

The Argument: Some think the paper should go under the roll and some think it should be over the top. The argument for under is that...well, they have no valid argument. In fact, I have never heard one. It is usually done out of a lack of thinking about it. On to solution.

The Solution: TP should NEVER be put on with it going under from the back. Why? Because someone will care, inevitably.Those who do care, amost always (99.99%) want it placed with the end coming over the roll towards the squatter. Those who don't care, usually don't pay attention. This is unequal. If one cares and the other doesn't, then the either one who cares has to stop, or the one who doesn't has to begin to care. If you don't care, then do it the way the person who cares wants. Why, because it doesn't matter to you, remember?! Also, you who do care, remember that you are also not a majority. Your partner/spouse/roomate is the other 50% and his not caring is just as important as your caring. Why should they care just because you do? This is not equal thinking. If they place it wrong, and you care...change it yourself. My holy shamoly, it takes all of 10 seconds or less to change.If you try and get the non-caring one to change themselves to a caring one...remember how long it takes them to change. Is the argument really worth it? Both of you knock it off and wipe already.

The Problem: Toothpaste squeezing

The Argument: One of you wants to squeeze from the middle. One of you leaves the lid off. One of you wants to squeeze from the bottom and roll the end up. Convenience or efficiency or effectiveness are the reasons everyone uses to defend their position.

The Solution: Another easy one. One thing you can do...get separate tubes for each of you...PLEASE. The middle squeezers do not care if the end is rolled up. In fact, it won't bother them that it is and will simply squeeze from where the new middle is. You who squeeze and/or roll it up from the end, can still do this. Even when it is "ruined" by the middle squeezers. Place the tub on the counter. Then take the smooth plastic of the toothbrush handle and place it on the very end of the tube (at the bottom end). Then, pressing down on the brush handle, move the handle up from the bottom towards the top. This effectively irons out the wrinkles in the tube and pushes all the paste to the top. Works like a charm. Fun part is that you will like doing this. There is a certain odd satisfaction from this that only you who care about it will understand. If you see this as unequal, then return to the separate tubes advice. As far as the lid goes...if it has a removeable lid, PUT IT BACK ON. It is a lid for a reason. To eliminate this problem, however, buy tubes that have lids that pop up, but to not become totally removed. This will make it easy and...equal. Trust me.

Problem: Misplaced Waste (of the urinal and fecal kind)

The Argument: Men sometimes find it difficult to keep it all inside the LARGE round circle below them. Interesting cause they can put a small round bat on a small round ball going 95 mph and tell it where to go...and they can put a litle tiny white dimpled ball into a small round hole many yards away, but can't seem to get the pee from a small round opening into a large round hole only a couple of feet away. Ironic, isn't it? Women are the ones who wipe when urinating, yet they still find a way to dribble on the front of the seat and don't see it. They can see the tiniest little stain on a piece of clothing and think it is 1,000 times larger than it is, but can't seem to see a small yellow drop of pee on a white background. Hmmm. What is wrong with us all?!?

The Solution: Men, if you piss and miss, you had better mean to clean, and right away. Men, if you spatter and splash it, you have to wash it. If you can't seem to get it right and don't like cleaning it up...SIT DOWN. That will take care of it. Women, check the seat each time you get up. If you dribbled, clean it off. Remember, it might be you that sits on it next. Odds are really good it will be. It is only reasonable and equal that if you do the deed, you take care of it.

Ok, this is good for tonight. I am really tired. Think of some of your own for me...

directions for this blog

2005-06-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I figured that I should have some sort of direction for this blog site. Notice that the title says directionS. That's because there will be many directions that we will go. Someone once told me, "if you keep going in the direction you're going, you'll end up where you are going." Sounds pretty DUH, but it is amazing how many people make the mistake of continuing to go in the wrong direction enven when judged as wrong by themselves.

SO, we will not make that mistake...hopefully. We will try and keep us going in a direction that is enjoyable and interesting. If it starts to take us where we don't want to go, then we'll just change the direction. Sound ok? good.

The first direction? Hmmm...let's try...equality.

Honesty

2005-06-21T02:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I have no great expectations for this blog. Heck, I doubt anyone but myself will read this. However, it feels good to be writing. I love to write and this as good a place as any to do so. I guess the excitement of the possibility that someone might actually find this site and read it, is enough.

Writing is much better than talking for me since I tend to be more thoughtful in my writing and ramble less (maybe not too much less, though). Not that I am a bad speaker. In fact, I am quite a good speaker. I am comfortable in fromt of others. Well, let's be honest...I really enjoy public speaking. I love teaching and sharing what I know and think. I love the idea that I might say someting that might improve someone's life.

Ideas are quite nice that way. They don't have to actually happen to have an effect. They can simply be said by me, to me. As long as there is a possibility of their having a chance to change something, someone, somewhere.

There is nothing worse, it seems, than ideas and dreams caged inside simply because there is no chance for them to become anything else. Some of the most frustrating times of my life have been when my ideas and dreams have been completly squashed by someone's negativity. Negativity is hard because it isn't honest. I say this because you can never know how selfish it is. If I make a negative comment, it could be due to my own jealousy or my lack of vision, or my difference of opinion. How will you know the difference. Negativity is not honest because it does not reveal the real reasons for the negativity.

Positiveness, on the other hand, is different. This is where you should logically tell me to hold on, or raise an eyebrow, or log off this site...just kidding. BUT, you should see some problem in my reasoning - at least at first look. Let me explain my thinking to satisfy yours.

This should logically begin with a definition (at least mine) of honesty, or integrity.

Integrity is the truest form of humility. Integrity can also be seen as perfect negotiation. Perfect negotiation is where each party's interests are protected and value addedto them, to the satisfaction of each party.

This is probably a definition you will never hear anywhere else. I haven't, and I've looked around for it quite a bit. It also probably seems either odd, confusing, unclear, ridiculous, or whatever else you want to call it. It does not fit any current definitions that I know of, so I do not blame you for your feelings. In fact, I beg for any critiques, comments, etc. on the matter.

Ok, back to integrity. There is real logic behind my definition. Wait...I think I should save this discussion for my other blog....It is a site for a discussion of these kinds of matters. Go to http://changesystems.blogspot.com

Until then...think about my definition seriously. Then go to my other site and let me know what you think. See you there.